I want a bump!

I have no bump.
I'm just a big fat cow. With no bump.

I see all these pretty pictures of women with the most adorable baby bumps. And I have bump envy. I want one. All I have is a fat belly and then a not fat, but looks like fat, belly. It is decidedly NOT a bump. It's....blob. I have a baby blob.

Pregnancy is not glamorous, and I never really expected it to be, but frankly, I'm just miserable today. I'm hormonal and cranky. And fat and gross.

And I worry about my little man constantly. I just want it to be 16 weeks from now so my little guy can be born safely. There is so much sadness in the world and I wonder why how I'm so lucky. I keep waiting for bad news. And I just love this little man so much, I cannot imagine not having him in my life and the thought of it scares me so much, some days I can't NOT think it.

There is nothing I love more than sitting on my couch and feeling my little man swimming around in there. I love all the punches and jabs he gives me. The other day, I swear he did a full flip. He was kicking down low, then I felt a rolling motion, and then he was kicking up high. It was quite seriously the coolest thing ever. Have I mentioned how much I love this little guy?

And the HG loves him too. He talks to my belly (um...blob....) every night. "Daddy loves you, little man. Grow big and strong so you can come see us!" How does that not just melt your heart? He's going to be the best dad in the world. He already worries about taking the best possible care of him. He's always been very conscious of our finances, but now he's like a Wall Street broker, the way he watches everything like a hawk. Not in an overbearing way--in a cute, doting father kind of a way. And he talks about how he's going to play catch with him and take him to Dunkin Donuts on Saturday mornings before going to the park. It's just so cute.

We just love this little man so much. Can we just please fast forward to April so he's here safe and sound? I want to kiss all his little toes and squeeze his little bum. And I can't wait to cradle him up against my chest with him curled up into my shoulder. I want to know if he has my nose and the HG's eyes. Will he be cursed with the evil toes of his father, or will he have model perfect feet like his mom (hey, something on me should be model perfect!)? Oh....and that lovely baby smell. I can't wait for that.

I know that what I'm feeling is perfectly normal and I'm certainly not the first woman to love her unborn child so much, the thought of NOT having him is overwhelming. It just seems that if I have to be a hormonal basket case, I could at least be blessed with a cute baby bump.
I'm just sayin.