9 Pregnancy Myths and other reasons to drink

Ok, so NOTHING thrills me more than my weekly dose of the Nest newsletters for pregnant women and new moms arriving in my inbox. Like nothing. I run home from work **fingers crossed** that it's there. I signed up for this newsletter last July when I WAS pregnant. For like 3 minutes. I timed it. Anyway. Apparently, according to this week's newsletter there are NINE pregnancy myths. Myth 1: if you have unprotected sex, you'll get pregnant. Ok, I made that one up. Really it's Myth 2 that amuses me: Decaf Only. That's as in coffee. The myth, apparently, is that when preggers, you can only drink decaf coffee. However! Good news! Apparently you can have "one small cup of coffee a day". Wait a sec. Isn't that the same as saying "no coffee"? I'm pretty sure coffee only comes in a 3 cup thermos or a 24 oz "small" from Dunkin Donuts. (coconut, cream, 4 splenda thanks). So this whole "one up a day" crap? Yeah. Don't tease a girl.

Anyway.

I'm not feeling particularly witty this evening. In fact, I'm down right exhausted. I love my mother, I really do. And as I've mentioned, she has a birthday approaching (Hi mom!). So around 8:30 this morning I got a call on my cell phone. I was at work, so naturally I was going to ignore her call. In all fairness, I would normally ignore her call anyway, but being at work gave me a good excuse. Well thank goodness I picked up the phone (hey, question, can you see my eyes roll through the screen?). Guess who's coming to visit?!? (For real, if you can't guess, there is nothing I can do to help you.) Guess when?!? Um, in 3 hours. Remember last night when I said that I didn't do the dishes before I went to bed last night. Yeah. Don't even tell me karma's not real. So, let's recap. The ONE night in, oh, I don't know, 4 months, that I haven't done the dishes, my mother shows up. Great. Thanks ma. I swear she has a video camera in my apartment (quick mom, what color underwear am I wearing??). Now you'd think this wouldn't result in a big dramatic day. You would. I mean, mom is coming. We go out to dinner. End of story. Have you learned NOTHING from me? Nothing is ever that simple. But in the interests of expediency (yeah, not generally my style. I'm tired. Remember?), I'll cut to the chase. 4 hours of phone calls between 5 different people, 100's of emails, 4 fights, and 3 reservation changes later, 8 of us managed to meet for dinner. I have pictures to prove it:

Um. Ok. So that picture proves that six of us were at dinner. I swear there were eight. Two left to go watch the Celtics game. I swear. Ok, and even if they didn't and they weren't there to begin with, does it really change the story? But they were there. Anyway. My point is, I'm exhausted. Imagine if we were trying to arrange something important.

Oh, so here's a pregnancy myth that's probably true. No alcohol during pregnancy. Good news is that since I'm NOT pregnant, I got a life jacket of Sam Summer. Lemon, please. Yummmm. Everything is better with beer. Especially family drama. Too bad I can't drink at work. (Is it technically drinking at work if it's just some Bailey's in my coffee?)

You know what sucks? All day I thought about stuff I wanted to write about tonight. Two beers and 4 scallops later, I can't remember. Who says alcohol doesn't kill brain cells?

(Oh, and PS: the HG? BIG BONUS point for doing dinner tonight. We stopped on the way home and bought a PSP.)