The Other Shoe

People always say they're waiting for "other shoe to drop". So what's the other shoe and how do you know if the first one dropped? Does cat pee on your shoe count? The HG and I were getting ready to go to Six Flags last weekend; I went to put my shoes on and got a foot full of cat pee. Don't even get me started. Thank goodness they were just flip flops. And I was able to wash them and they're no worse for the wear. I ended up wearing different shoes and jamming a pill down the babygirl's throat (she does this thing where she goes into false heat and pees on things. A quick pill usually clears it up). And we're both fine now. Largely.

So does cat pee count as the first shoe dropping? Because lately I've had this nagging feeling of impending doom. I'm good times, huh? I'd like to say I have no idea where this feeling is coming from, but Google "gas prices", "US Economy", and "Coldplay" and you'll see what's getting me down. On the Coldplay front, my sister once got accused of plagiarism too, and it was a totally bogus charge (Hi, Mrs. Kerr. Oh, that's right, I'm calling you out.) so who knows what the real story there is. I do know that I love that song. (And I love me some Chris Martin. Gwyneth and I are fighting.)

Oh, speaking of random celebrities with whom I'm having imaginary relationships, I recently learned that my BFF Bennifer (Take 2) is in Cambridge again. I think it's rude that they come visit and don't call. A little dose of fame and suddenly they're too good for me. A few summers ago I was seriously stalking them (Them=Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner=Bennifer Take 2=my imaginary best friends. All of this adds up to irrefutable evidence that I'm certifiable.). Ok I wasn't "seriously" stalking them, but I knew they were living in the same neighborhood I was while Ben was filming Gone Baby Gone (eh. I give it 2 1/2 stars. Depressing. At best.). I figured that the odds were pretty good I'd run into them. I mean, how many people could possibly be in Cambridge at one time? (101,353 in 2000, but who's counting?)

I can't tell you how many times I almost ran off the road looking at all the women walking around with baby carriages. I was on the look out all summer. I even had an image of how our meeting would go. She'd (JG) be walking with the baby in a carriage. I'd see them and immediately know who she was. Of course, being the superfly cool chick that I am, I'd never let on that I recognized her. And that would be the key to our lifelong friendship. Which, I was sure, was inevitable. I mean, hi, I'm so fun. Anyway. I'd casually strike up a conversation with her as we walked to the Starbucks.

Me: Your daughter is beautiful.
JG: Oh thanks!
Me: What's her name?
JG: Violet
Me: Oh, what a beautiful name! So classic!
JG: Yeah, we wanted something "normal".
Me: Not like Apple or Banjo...
JG & Me: Laugh
Me: I just like classic names. Not silly celebrity names. (See how uber cool I am? I'm pretending to not know who she is.)
JG: Well, I guess you have to be as normal as possible when your life is that crazy.
Me: Probably. I can't imagine what having a million cameras in my face every day would be like. JG: I can't even imagine. (We laugh. She because she thinks I don't know her secret. Me because I do. I am so coy.)
JG: (Noticing my cute new shoes. Of course I'm wearing cute shoes.) Oh, I love your shoes! Where did you get them?
Me: You'll never believe it. Target. Amazing, right?
JG: Where is there a Target around here?
Me: (Gives directions) (also, this earns me some karma points)
JG: Thanks! I'll have to check that out.
We arrive at Starbucks
JG: You want to have a cup of coffee with me?
Me: Oh, I'd love to, but I can't today. (Gotta leave them wanting more)
JG: Oh, well here, let me get your number. My husband Ben and I would love to have you and your husband over sometime! It's so hard to meet people in this city....

And that's how our lifelong friendship would start. In my mind she and Ben take us out to dinner and insist on paying. We drink wine and eat bread until the wee hours of the morning. And after several bottles of a fantastic Pino Gris, I confess that I knew who she was all along and we all have a good laugh.

But alas, I never saw her on the street. The HG saw her heading into a local running store. And she didn't even wave. Rude. No wonder she finds it hard to meet people.

Ah well. I suppose my life will never be blessed with a celebrity friendship. And you know, that's OK. Because I have some pretty awesome friends. None of them have ever treated the HG and me to an expensive dinner with multiple bottles of wine, but they do often compliment my choice of footwear. And while we might not share bread, we have been known to knock back several baskets of fresh tortilla chips and margaritas. So you know, who needs Bennifer anyway? Not me.

One of my dearest friends just completed her first round of IVF on Thursday. Two perfect little embryos were transferred. I'm quite certain she'll get pregnant. I pray for it (4 Karma points) daily. Now, I admit, part of my hope for her is selfish (there go those karma points). Her success, no matter how deserving, will be evidence that I can be successful as well (can I have my karma points back?) Plus, she can tell me what to expect from the positive results of IVF. I'm afraid to say the "P" word. I'm both afraid for it to happen and for it not to happen. So using the word is sort of like saying Bloody Mary 13 times in the mirror at midnight. Saying it could make it happen. Scary. Saying it could also do nothing. Also scary. Best just to avoid the word.

So, in addition to pinning my hopes that the world isn't going to hell in a hand basket on my friends, I've been on the quest for good news lately. Without much effort (it's easy to find things that are posted on the Yahoo! front page) I came up with this gem. http://tinyurl.com/4cu4xq

The world better not go to hell. With my coffee habit, looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.